A Billionaire's Guide to Halloween

♪Staff Credits - Luigi's Mansion OST♪

With Halloween coming up, many unsuspecting billionaires will fall victim to classic monsters, ghouls, and demons. Here's a guide on how to outgun the vile creatures that will rear their heads this season.

Internal Revenue Service (IRS)
To avoid this wretched beast, all you need is a clever accountant. Pay them well, and you won't have to relinquish your green to those meddling rodents.

Federal Trade Commission (FTC)
The FTC is a truly dangerous syndicate. Operating at it's full potential, the FTC can extinguish your plans like water to fire. They have a tendency to dabble in dark magic such as Anti-Trust. However, there's always something a billionaire can do. The most effective way to avoid the sightline of the FTC is to infiltrate it with your own men via lobbying. Pay out those slimy bastards: their cheap whores too! They fold under a few thousand smackers.

Labor Unions
Peasants, peasants, peasants. These fools only have power in numbers and are best dealt with preemptively. Keep a keen ear out for whispers between employees. Intimidate, isolate, and infiltrate groups of weaselly workers.

Worker Strikes
If you've failed to suppress unionization, the worms will likely try to squeeze better pay, benefits, or treatment out of you. This fight can be easily won if you consider this: You have more money than them. Bleed them out over a few months and they'll come crawling back.

Class Action Suits
Settle out of court.